So after I watched sexy ass George Michael shake his bon-bon on American Idol, I spoke to my sister who has an eerie knack for bringing up old shit that you’ve spent your entire life trying to forget.
She reminded me of a time when I was about 13 years old and we were in a Wednesday night church service with my mom. We had my nephew with us, who was about 5 or 6 months old at the time, and he was on the pew in his car seat.
My nephew was born with a perfect nappy afro, so my sister and I had an inside joke about how he looked like Sherman Hemsley, LOL. She mentioned it while we were in church and I couldnt stop laughing. My mom told us to knock it off, and I really tried, but every time I looked at my nephew, I would see George Jefferson and bust out laughing again. My mom told us again to knock it off, but even if I didnt look at my nephew, the thought would cross my mind again, and I would just lose it. I was trying my hardest to stop laughing, but it wasnt working, and next thing I know, my mama came across my face with a smack from Jesus Himself LOL.
I instantly stopped laughing.
Now I need to hear a worse story so I can feel better.
Posts
May 22, 2008 @ 7:07 am
May 22, 2008 @ 7:45 am
First of all, i STILL think that story is hilarious everytime i hear it
Im sorry Dig
One of my most embarassing moments that i can recall right now is actually worst. I remember (and ive told this story to dig b4) wearing my favorite blue work pants that zipped up in the back. I had on my favorite pink sweater and heels and of course ima wear a matching pink bra and panties, or in this case Gstring with a diamond at the top.
I just started training for my job i currently have so we took a break for lunch and i decided i was gonna go with some other folks to the mall. Mind u, my zipper had broken and i didnt realize or feel it break. So because i dont know this my ass was exposed and open. Im walking thru the mall with a pink sweater, blue (open) pants and a pink thong and some heels looking like a stripper. No on told me my pants was open. I found out when i got back to the office and i discovered it when i felt the chair fabric rub across my ass.
Thats my most embarassing moment, thank god the people i trained with are no longer here.
May 22, 2008 @ 7:53 am
Are you sure they knew? Did they say "Oh I thought you meant to do that?"
May 22, 2008 @ 8:05 am
Damn shame… but here goes
I was about in the 10th grade and me and the homies were skipping school now we had made it through the hardest part getting out of the school and out of sight from getting caught. But being that it had rain the night before made going thru the shortcut behing the neighboring elementary school much harder. Plus it had started to rain while we were escaping thus messing up my S-curl gumby and getting the chemicals in my eyes…Anywho we make our way to this part of the short we had to cross an being that it had water we couldnt just walk though it and it was wide too wide so we couldnt jump it. So a log was right there so we could cross on it… of course my dumb ass went first and right when i was about to put one foot on the log we heard gun shots… Now its time to hurry I didnt have any damn balance and I grab this small ass twig to keep myself up… we about 3 steps into it i lost my balance and SPLASH right in that mudddy ass water. I come up lookin like the damn swamp think…. An my homies wont let me live that shit down for nothing. AND NEITHER OF THEM FUCKERS GOT WET AT ALL… JUST MY LUCK.
May 22, 2008 @ 8:05 am
Are you sure they knew? Did they say "Oh I thought you meant to do that?"
Im not sure, i was with 2 guys so they was probably enjoying the view. nasty asses. U know how many kids i walked past, i can just see they mams covering they eyes LMAO
May 22, 2008 @ 8:14 am
Gun shots? Where the hell did u go to school at?
and that story was funny
May 22, 2008 @ 8:14 am
‘thus messing up my S-curl gumby and getting the chemicals in my eyes’
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
May 22, 2008 @ 8:20 am
‘First of all, i STILL think that story is hilarious everytime i hear it ‘
The worst part is my mama always feels the need to be all up close and personal with the Lord. We was in like the second pew LOL. I KNOW everybody saw that shit, LOL.
May 22, 2008 @ 8:20 am
i’m with cec- EVERYTIME i hear that shit i crack up- especially now that his son has that shit too lol
i have plently of embarassing moments, but i’m enjoying my good mood this morning. its rare i smile ever, let alone before noon… so i’m just gonna ride this one out until someone says something stupid over here and bursts my little happy place bubble lol
May 22, 2008 @ 8:21 am
Matter of fact, that aint the only time I got slapped in church LOL. Im starting to think I was abused as a child LOL. Maybe thats why my ass dont go to church now.
May 22, 2008 @ 8:23 am
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…wtf happened? big yellow edit box around my comment- SNAZZY!!!!!!!
*edits just because*
thanks willykins!!!
May 22, 2008 @ 8:23 am
Matter of fact, that aint the only time I got slapped in church LOL. Im starting to think I was abused as a child LOL. Maybe thats why my ass dont go to church now.
hahaha now u sound like Jason.
May 22, 2008 @ 8:26 am
‘ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…wtf happened? big yellow edit box around my comment- SNAZZY!!!!!!!’
I know, I thought I was losing my mind when I saw it for the first time LOL. Like WTF???
May 22, 2008 @ 8:27 am
One of my young moments:
Me and the homie used to ride all around on mountain bikes, tryin to do wheelies and shit. Woop Woop.
One time we we’re ridin, and dude was doing a wheelie up the street when he lost his balance and fell right on his ass.
Of course, I’m fuckin dyin laughin and he’s hurt but ha ha ha.
Fast forward, were tryin to do a wheelie across this alley. From the bank across to the laundry mat. But part of the laundry mat driveway had this lil bumb. Kinda like a real real small speed bump.
So when we’re tryin to do the wheelie we’re also tryin to go across this fuckin bump.
We try for a while, can’t make it all the way.
Well…
on my LAST try…
hit that fuckin bump and POW!!!!.
fell right on my tailbone in the parkin lot, right as the owner of the laundry mat is walking to his car, crackin the fuck up.
May 22, 2008 @ 8:28 am
Gun shots? Where the hell did u go to school at?
It wasnt that bad but shit would happen… and I dont think it was shooting at the school maybe the neighborhood around it. But that shit was wet as hell.
May 22, 2008 @ 8:30 am
‘fell right on my tailbone in the parkin lot’
Why do so many falling stories involve a tailbone? LOL
May 22, 2008 @ 8:34 am
‘Why do so many falling stories involve a tailbone?’
May 22, 2008 @ 8:34 am
fell right on my tailbone in the parkin lot’
that sounds like that hurt more than it was funny
May 22, 2008 @ 8:38 am
I got another one. Its gross
This is more recent - like 2 or 3 years ago… I went to the club and got FUCKED UP. I dont remember if it was the night I did them two cherry bombs or not, but I think it was.
Anyway, I was way past nice, I had fucken x-ray vision by now LOL. Me and … was it you, Cec? Me and somebody was standing against the wall outside after the club, and I was talkin to this dude I know, trying my hardest to suppress the urge to vomit. I was talkin and next thing you know, I just threw up right on the side of us, and kept talkin like nothing ever happened
He was lookin like ‘wait…. did this bitch really…. just…. throw the fuck up and keep talkin?’
Jedi mind trick. Act like it never happened, and make other people question if it really did.
May 22, 2008 @ 8:40 am
‘Jedi mind trick. Act like it never happened, and make other people question if it really did.’
May 22, 2008 @ 8:42 am
I swear to this day if he ever asked me about it, I’d be like ‘what? what are you talkin about?’
May 22, 2008 @ 8:48 am
Dig
Yes …..i was there and i remember cause i was like EWWW is some of it on my shoe?
It was gross
May 22, 2008 @ 8:50 am
And I was so fucken drunk I aint even care. I still was thinkin I was cute walkin back to the car, and niggas so trifling, they was still tryin to talk and I know I had to have some residue on my chin
May 22, 2008 @ 8:57 am
And I was so fucken drunk I aint even care. I still was thinkin I was cute walkin back to the car, and niggas so trifling, they was still tryin to talk and I know I had to have some residue on my chin
I dont think u did because i kinda helped u clean up but yea u was toasted and Yes dudes try to holla…like oooh she be puking and junk ..damn she turned me on, i gotta get the digits
May 22, 2008 @ 8:58 am
dig- no you didnt
damn it i’m glad i wasnt there
not so much embarrassing, but i should have kept my mouth shut- the police car, i will never ever ever live that mess down as long as dig and cec are breathing. we are going to be in the nursing home and i’ll do something and one of them will say "well, at least i never had bar prints all up and down my booty nucca!"
May 22, 2008 @ 8:59 am
Like ooooh, she gangsta!
May 22, 2008 @ 8:59 am
And I was so fucken drunk I aint even care. I still was thinkin I was cute walkin back to the car, and niggas so trifling, they was still tryin to talk and I know I had to have some residue on my chin
===============
now you know niggas dont distingush what KIND of residue- they see dribble and automatically think impure thoughts. ol one track mind having mfs
May 22, 2008 @ 9:00 am
‘we are going to be in the nursing home and i’ll do something and one of them will say "well, at least i never had bar prints all up and down my booty nucca!" ‘
Yup.
May 22, 2008 @ 9:05 am
‘we are going to be in the nursing home and i’ll do something and one of them will say "well, at least i never had bar prints all up and down my booty nucca!" ‘
ditto Yup
May 22, 2008 @ 9:05 am
now you know niggas dont distingush what KIND of residue- they see dribble and automatically think impure thoughts. ol one track mind having mfs
———————————————————
Sheeeeet let a chick up chuck while talking to me… it was be the first and last convo we have… I wouldnt give a damn whats on your chin when I can see the corn you ate 5 hours ago… HELL NO
May 22, 2008 @ 9:08 am
‘ I wouldnt give a damn whats on your chin when I can see the corn you ate 5 hours ago… HELL NO’
To my recollection, it wasnt that much. I think I pretty much just threw up what I drank. One heave and it was over LOL. At least I turned my head though and didnt throw up ON him LOL……
Suddenly Im getting 40-yr-old Virgin flashbacks.
May 22, 2008 @ 9:09 am
Sheeeeet let a chick up chuck while talking to me… it was be the first and last convo we have… I wouldnt give a damn whats on your chin when I can see the corn you ate 5 hours ago… HELL NO
===================
smh… i was joking about the dudes that didnt see it and were hollering on her way to the car… so serious kareem lol
May 22, 2008 @ 9:16 am
Sheeeeet let a chick up chuck while talking to me… it was be the first and last convo we have… I wouldnt give a damn whats on your chin when I can see the corn you ate 5 hours ago… HELL NO
Same with a dude. Be like o….k… that was my que
May 22, 2008 @ 9:20 am
‘Suddenly Im getting 40-yr-old Virgin flashbacks.’
May 22, 2008 @ 9:24 am
’so serious kareem lol’
Willy, you know as nasty as that scene in the movie was, that shit was hella funny.
"Ya know, I think Im gonna pass on the sex."
May 22, 2008 @ 9:27 am
’so serious kareem lol’
Alright….
May 22, 2008 @ 9:28 am
Ive never seen that movie- i think i passed it on purpose cause them kinda movies i gotta be in the mood to watch. Except anything with Will Ferrell in it
May 22, 2008 @ 9:29 am
AN the part was when she was singing "get ya freak on" was straight hilarious.
May 22, 2008 @ 9:29 am
and u can blame Harold and Kumar go for White Castle Burgers for my disgust in that them kinda movies…granted i was getting felt up during that movie so i missed some things…but still
May 22, 2008 @ 9:30 am
Cec, I hate dumb movies but that one (40-yr-old Virgin) is hilarious. So is Old School. There is another really funny dumb movie I like too but I cant think of it right now….
May 22, 2008 @ 9:36 am
now harold and kumar was HILARIOUS!!! i need to go see the new one- maybe monday. must look into twistin up supplies.. cant go see that sober.
May 22, 2008 @ 9:38 am
Superbad is the SHIT!!!
Yall gotta check that out.
Also, that Forgetting Sarah Mitchell is funny too.
May 22, 2008 @ 10:09 am
"Oooooooooh do ya really want hiiiiiiim, do ya really want meeeeeeeeee, do ya really want hiiiiiiiim………"
Sorry, I love that song LMAOOOOOOOOOO!
May 22, 2008 @ 10:10 am
Also, that Forgetting Sarah Mitchell is funny too.
Ive been wanting to see that… I might have to check it out
May 22, 2008 @ 10:16 am
i’m out like a suges knights eye after he got kncoked da fuck out!!
see yall on the wakeup!
May 22, 2008 @ 10:23 am
Cec, I hate dumb movies but that one (40-yr-old Virgin) is hilarious. So is Old School. There is another really funny dumb movie I like too but I cant think of it right now….
I want to see Old school but thats cause the Roc is in it. Ill hvae to try and 40 yr old virgin and see.
now harold and kumar was HILARIOUS!!! i need to go see the new one- maybe monday. must look into twistin up supplies.. cant go see that sober.
Im still trying to figure that movie out. Im like why in the hell….it aint that hard to get to no damn rest for burgers
May 22, 2008 @ 10:52 am
Oh yeah… COOK!!!!!!!
May 22, 2008 @ 10:54 am
Okay, between the firefighters during sex, my underwear almost falling off in the subway, my ponytail coming off during sex, and falling so hard in front of the cash registers in the East Ave Wegmans that the man running the zamboni (with headphones on) waaaaaaaaay on the other side actually shut it off and ran to me, thinking I’d damn near killed myself, I’ve had enough embarrassing moments to last a lifetime.
May 22, 2008 @ 10:58 am
‘my ponytail coming off during sex,’
‘Oh yeah… COOK!!!!!!!’
**runs off cryin**
May 22, 2008 @ 11:05 am
I told Dig last night- you thought I was playing about that "Executive decision", willy "lol"…plus, I think they’re trying to give Syesha the Clay Aiken treatment, pushing her out there, cause she has the ability to be the breakout star from this season, cause she sang every damn song.
And yes, it came off- but we were fucking on the top of my couch- yes, the top, and it was awkward and my head kept hitting the wall and that’s all I’m going to say about that since we didn’t stop
Between Cook and the Lakers giving a big
to the Spurs, I’m completely happy right now.
May 22, 2008 @ 11:05 am
Im out, ill ttyl
May 22, 2008 @ 11:16 am
Duncan got fouled.
FOULED!!!! When it was 85-83.
Should have been shooting free-throws.
May 22, 2008 @ 11:21 am
‘I want to see Old school but thats cause the Roc is in it.’
The Roc aint in Old School…
May 22, 2008 @ 11:22 am
gasol got fouled….FOULED when he made that nice tip in- Duncan had his arm ALL in his back..
but you know Duncan with the "who? what? ME?" face…
May 22, 2008 @ 11:23 am
‘Duncan had his arm ALL in his back..’
PFFFFFF!
Gasol is weak as fuck and just missed.
May 22, 2008 @ 11:27 am
hater!!
I can’t wait for them to win- when they do, I think I might have to run out there for the parade!! (and riot)
May 22, 2008 @ 11:27 am
And Jae…
I REALLY need that George right about now.
May 22, 2008 @ 11:32 am
i’ll bring it here from home and upload it
WMP 9, you know lol.
May 22, 2008 @ 11:36 am
‘WMP 9, you know lol.’
Ol bootleg OS havin self.
May 22, 2008 @ 11:48 am
sheeit…you don’t even know…bootleg video people have STORES up here lol..retail space for bootleg DVD’s…
May 22, 2008 @ 12:09 pm
Damn Shame.
May 22, 2008 @ 12:21 pm
big ass signs in the window- 4 for $10 or whatever…gotta love the Asians…Pacific Mall and Oriental Centre always has the new shit
May 22, 2008 @ 12:24 pm
But do they have the new NEW shit?