A couple of days ago I had this conversation with two 40 plus year old women. Now while it was a very insightful conversation, In these two ladies effort to “School” me The didn’t really know how..Ahem… Stupid they ended up looking. Now one of the ladies was married and she has a pretty ok life…Husband is good to her they have a home and they have two kids. But I guess she feels bored in her relationship so she was saying that she was gonna go out and find “somebody” to have fun with… Not knowing that I already knew that she has been having phone conversations with a dude in her past (It’s a shame what other women will tell you when they want to look better in your eyes) Of course me being inquisitive ask… “Whats up with that” She goes into this entire spill about how she has her security and now she wants some fun. Of course I get what this lady is saying but I asked her to elaborate just to see how further down stupid street we were gonna go.
She explains to me that…Women should make sure they get that husband that can bring home enough money to have them live comfortably an so they can afford the things that they “WANT” an live the way they “Want” as well… All the attraction and sex really don’t matter cause its about business. An when those needs are met you should fine somebody on the side to fulfill those desires that you have that are missing from the married.. I.e. somebody to blow the back out since its not getting done the way you want in the first place.
Now ladies even though I truly believe Im the best thing to happen to women since the silver bullet (I had to say that).. Shit like this really turns me off from ever thinking about getting hitched again. I don’t want to be look at like a damn business plan. And what ever happen to a sister getting her own and getting with a guy cause she just digs him and he digs her. An the messed up part about this is women like these have daughters and tell them the same fked up crap to further push this bullshit agenda. There is a reason why this chick is bored in her relationship because she was bored in the beginning. She got the security…And tell here what she’s won bob… BOREDOM. Congrates…Thanks for playing. And you are won of the many to get the home version of “What kind of stupid shit is this.”
Posts
February 20, 2008 @ 11:50 am
you cant honestly think that all women think like that…
smh@ at getting your back blown out on the side.. while i dont condone marriage for myself- if you cant make me walk funny the next day, theres no way in hell its going to last to the point of marriage. compatibility on many levels is a requirement for that type of commitment.
February 20, 2008 @ 11:55 am
Nah…I dont think all women think that way. I know its a only a few. I just like talk you yall about some of the characters I meet…
February 20, 2008 @ 11:58 am
I know so many “southern women” that feel that way. My cousin is a prime example, she had a goregous wedding in 05 and now she has a dip on the side. She came to visit me last summer and she was on the phone with her boyfriend waaaaaaay more than her husband. I ask ed her why did she get married. She told me that financial security is more important than anything else in a marriage. I was confused, cause I thought people married for love, attraction, companionship and then financial security. Not down playing the importance of financial security, because lack of it can cause the end of a marriage, but to just marry someone cause they have money is not the business.
February 20, 2008 @ 12:01 pm
cjp- ok, just checking… you do have some rather ‘colorful’ people around you
February 20, 2008 @ 12:07 pm
cjp- ok, just checking… you do have some rather ‘colorful’ people around you
I dont know what it is… Im the only young black guy that works around all of these women…an every now an then they call themselves trying to teach me shit… either its that or trying to hook me up with one of their neice or some shit like that. Funny shit I tell you.
February 20, 2008 @ 1:23 pm
I don’t have a problem with marrying for “security”- frankly, I think that when you look at what couples fight most about, finances is at the top of that list….marry somebody you don’t have to argue wit money about- I don’t think it’s a problem.
As far as getting a jumpoff…
…scandalous lol.
I’m not cool with that unless both parties agree that shit works like that.
February 20, 2008 @ 4:17 pm
Damn….Fuck….
I gotta agree with old girl cjp.
On some real shit, marriage is a “business” nowadays. Nobody gives three and 3/4ths a fuck about ‘love’ anymore.
Why not marry someone that you can prosper with financially?
Marriage is such a joke anyway. You might as well find a woman/man that you can build something with for your kids and their kids. Then if you must, deal with all that compatiability shit later. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone cheating on your husband/wife. That ain’t cool. But if you’re marrying someone for love…good luck.
February 21, 2008 @ 11:09 am
Well…
today marks 1 year of me being single so…
I’m not even gonna get started.
February 21, 2008 @ 12:43 pm
Bruce
Ive just came to the conclusion that Im meant to be single…
February 21, 2008 @ 1:14 pm
I can see myself getting married…
I guess.
February 21, 2008 @ 1:19 pm
and that’s cool- I came to the same conclusion…of course, then I got married
February 21, 2008 @ 1:28 pm
An dont get me wrong… I understand the whole thing.but If Im looked at as a house 2 cars and a 401k then I dont want no part of it… If that has to go into your figuring to be with me then keep it moving. All of those things should be a plus..
February 21, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
But that’s silly- of course you are looked at as a house, 2 cars, and a 401K…it’s not that that is ALL that is looked at, but you have to be kidding yourself if you think that any rational, responsible woman wouldn’t consider your financial status before seriously accepting or offering any proposal…
love is important, but so is good credit.
An dont get me wrong… I understand the whole thing.but If Im looked at as a house 2 cars and a 401k then I dont want no part of it… If that has to go into your figuring to be with me then keep it moving. All of those things should be a plus..
February 21, 2008 @ 2:05 pm
‘Now ladies even though I truly believe Im the best thing to happen to women since the silver bullet (I had to say that).. ‘
*staring into the camera*
February 21, 2008 @ 2:16 pm
“don’t do it, miss celie…don’t do it…”
February 21, 2008 @ 2:19 pm
I think it has to be a business to some extent because you are talking about maintaining a life, a household, kids, money, and all that shit love has nothing to do with. All love is most times is the factor that makes you choose that particular person to go into business with. Granted, love makes a difference in staying in business, but who wants to be in a cardboard box, eating out of a dumpster talkin bout ‘baby i love you?’
February 21, 2008 @ 2:19 pm
FUCK FUCK FUCK>>>>>
THEY KILLED LARRY DAVIS !!!!
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2008/02/21/2008-02-21_convicted_cop_shooter_larry_davis_killed.html
If yall ain’t up on the HUSTLERS SUPERMAN Larry Davis…. google him.
As far as marriage goes, its just a fucking piece of paper and perception. If you need that paper and perception to solidify yourself as a human being, you have a lot more issues than finding financial security. How about you get your ass out and make your own fucking money you dependant fuck. If you are a bum bitch with no future you are nothing but a “fuck” for me so don’t get mad when I treat you like shit. Do for yourself and good will come to you.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:20 pm
Jae
February 21, 2008 @ 2:22 pm
Ihadnochoice: I dont know bout this chick CJP was talkin to but its not about wanting a man to buy you a mansion and put a benz in the driveway. But even if a woman has her shit together, she dont want no man that cant bring nothing to the table. And keep it real, yall dont want no woman who cant bring nothing to the table either. We can all do bad by ourselves.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:23 pm
responsible woman wouldn’t consider your financial status before seriously accepting or offering any proposal…
——–
I hate this position. Yall want to be treated as equals only when it benefits yall. How about a woman having good credit and helping a nigga out ? Why does the dude alays have to have his shit up to par while the women can just go to hair school ? A nigga can be broke and treat you like a queen just as much as the rich nigga can beat yo ass everyday. Marry who you love and feel comfortable with….period.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:28 pm
Women are genetically programmed to seek security in a potential mate.
It’s the science.
Men, just wanna bust one off.
I said it.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:29 pm
Well I dont think getting with a broke dude is irresponsible, I just think if you take that road, you have to know the burden youre bringing on yourself and be ok with it. But I will say if yu have two niggas in a dead heat and the only difference between em is their station in life, that is most likely gonna be the deciding factor.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:29 pm
But even if a woman has her shit together, she dont want no man that cant bring nothing to the table. And keep it real, yall dont want no woman who cant bring nothing to the table either. We can all do bad by ourselves.
——-
But when we meet w omen we don’t worry about them having assets and a 401Kplan. We don’t give a fuck about yall benefits… at least I don’t. We don’t care if you shovel shit for a living. Now you can be that way when we meet you but if I love you , than it ain’t shit for me to make you better. I might could hook you up with a job or give you some type of advice to make your situation better. Its one thing if you want to sit home and watch soap aperas all day but if I can help you get somewhere in life, love will help that.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:31 pm
AND, might I add, I just got through dealing with a broke nigga….. scratch that…. TWO broke niggas in a row LOL. And my position is that a broke nigga tends to be broke because of other qualities he lacks. I trashed both them dudes for the same reason and it had nothing to do with their pockets.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:34 pm
but see, I’m not saying you SHOULDN’T look at her finances. That is YOUR damn fault if you have stocks, bonds and a 401K and you decide to roll with Quanichronisha because she’s sweet with a big ass, even though her bank won’t give her a debit card because her credit is THAT fucked up, and then you wonder why, 6 months down the line, you’re fighting because her ass is bouncing checks like those balls you get from the dollar store.
I’m speaking from the perspective of a married woman with a kid, who went on mat leave for a year and a half, and had to trust that the hubby would hold it down and be responsible financially. Love can move mountains, but love doesn’t pay bills. And bills are what folks fight about. Period.
This isn’t to say you have to be rich- but a woman would be a damn fool to marry somebody who is fiscally irresponsible, as would any man.
————-
I hate this position. Yall want to be treated as equals only when it benefits yall. How about a woman having good credit and helping a nigga out ? Why does the dude alays have to have his shit up to par while the women can just go to hair school ? A nigga can be broke and treat you like a queen just as much as the rich nigga can beat yo ass everyday. Marry who you love and feel comfortable with….period.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:38 pm
Dig
You the only one that said something about that… Let me at least have that one alright
Anyway…
Now looking to see if I can provide and if we can build is one thing but checking to see im gonna take care of some chick is another. an I aint for it.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
But see, it’s not about WHAT you do for a living- it’s about what you do with the money you MAKE…I’ve done everything from theater to admin to housecleaner…trust, after you have scrubbed somebody ELSE’S freezer with a toothbrush, you are a lot more understanding about what folks do for a living and why.
The issue is, as Dig said, if you are not being responsible in that way, then that is a manifestation of some issues that love might not be able to overcome.
—————-
But when we meet w omen we don’t worry about them having assets and a 401Kplan. We don’t give a fuck about yall benefits… at least I don’t. We don’t care if you shovel shit for a living. Now you can be that way when we meet you but if I love you , than it ain’t shit for me to make you better. I might could hook you up with a job or give you some type of advice to make your situation better. Its one thing if you want to sit home and watch soap aperas all day but if I can help you get somewhere in life, love will help that.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:40 pm
‘But when we meet w omen we don’t worry about them having assets and a 401Kplan. We don’t give a fuck about yall benefits… at least I don’t. We don’t care if you shovel shit for a living. Now you can be that way when we meet you but if I love you , than it ain’t shit for me to make you better. I might could hook you up with a job or give you some type of advice to make your situation better. Its one thing if you want to sit home and watch soap aperas all day but if I can help you get somewhere in life, love will help that’
*****************
1. YOU aint like that but a lotta niggas are.
2. Yeah you can add to a person’s situation, but the person gotta want for something to begin with. A lotta broke niggas (or niggas with other shortcomings) are perfectly happy coming up short (women too).
3. Perfect example. When me and my kids father first got together, he aint have shit. I put him up, put him thru school, got him his first whip, helped him get his first job and we built an empire. But I was 22 years old. Im 32 now. Im not tryin to make a man outta 15 cents. I already have 2 mouths to feed, I dont need another dependent. And see, I have a big heart, so I tend to follow it in relationship situations rather than think logically. I have been with the occasional broke nigga. But that shit will weigh on you eventually if you try to take that somewhere serious. It just does. Especially if you are the type that tries to help a brother when he down…. but if a nigga ALWAYS fucken down, how long you think its gon be before that gets to be too much?
Now like I said, its not the ONLY factor at all, but you talkin bout marriage, not Friday night movies and sportscenter on Tuesdays then take your ass home type shit. I aint never been in a nigga pockets, but If we sharing a household and responsibilities, I want you to be doing your share.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:41 pm
comment by dig :
February 21, 2008 @ 2:31 pm |edit
AND, might I add, I just got through dealing with a broke nigga….. scratch that…. TWO broke niggas in a row LOL. And my position is that a broke nigga tends to be broke because of other qualities he lacks. I trashed both them dudes for the same reason and it had nothing to do with their pockets.
———–
Exactly. A person character is everything and it can’t be gauged by his gucci kicks or his bank account. I just think people short themselves by falling in love with every 3rd person they fuck. People walk around hoping to meet some dreamboat ass nigga that gonna sweep them off their feet and lead them into a life with no worries but you have to set that tone. You can’t be a bum bitch sitting on a crate outside of a bodega expecting Morris Chestnut in a Bentley to come ask you to ride off into the sunset with him.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:42 pm
CJP: You got it LOL….. but I agree with you. I aint lookin for somebody to give me a free ride, cause I couldnt marry a man just for his money anyway. Thats just me. I gotta love him. But you get what Im sayin - you gotta be contributing to the pie, or youre taking away from it.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:45 pm
I hate this position. Yall want to be treated as equals only when it benefits yall. How about a woman having good credit and helping a nigga out ? Why does the dude alays have to have his shit up to par while the women can just go to hair school ? A nigga can be broke and treat you like a queen just as much as the rich nigga can beat yo ass everyday. Marry who you love and feel comfortable with….period.
—————————————————–
An thats my thing right there… I hear all the time about Independent women that got theirs but some of those same women are the ones that speak about what a man has. If a chick makes or $60,000 a year…what wrong with here dating a dude that works on cars if he has a stable life and is ambitious… Shit he could own the damn shop before you know it. but this nigga wont get the time of day. and he’s good for you.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
you gotta be contributing to the pie, or youre taking away from it.
Yeah and i like pie…
February 21, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
‘If a chick makes or $60,000 a year…what wrong with here dating a dude that works on cars if he has a stable life and is ambitious… Shit he could own the damn shop before you know it. but this nigga wont get the time of day. and he’s good for you.’
***************
See…. now I dont know bout the other ladies, but thats not what Im sayin. I dont care what he do as long as he do SOMETHING and its legal and he aint gotta be taking my gas money to go buy his weed.
February 21, 2008 @ 2:56 pm
he aint gotta be taking my gas money to go buy his weed.
Damn Shame…
February 21, 2008 @ 2:59 pm
Exactly- it’s not about what you are, it’s about how you manage your money. My gf’s hubby works for UPS, and he keeps her in shoes, and jewelry and trips and she’s perfectly happy- they can afford it and he likes giving it to her. Let somebody talk about her “brown” hubby- she’s laughing all the way to Vatulele.
Gas money for weed?
See…. now I dont know bout the other ladies, but thats not what Im sayin. I dont care what he do as long as he do SOMETHING and its legal and he aint gotta be taking my gas money to go buy his weed.
February 21, 2008 @ 3:02 pm
I’m speaking from the perspective of a married woman with a kid, who went on mat leave for a year and a half, and had to trust that the hubby would hold it down and be responsible financially.
——————————————————-
And thats cool… thats really what its all about. but I know its more about your husband than what he brings home… right?
February 21, 2008 @ 3:03 pm
i think we all talking the same thing, but stating it differently.. but heres my 2 cents…
i never understood the mentality of a man (or anyone really) saying “i dont want a broke bitch/ golddigger- she gotta have her own” then turning around and saying it matters not what she does/ if she is financially responsible.
bottom line- it does. (s)he could scoop up rabbit shit at the circus, BUT if (s)he is fiscally responsible, who cares?
i’ve read alot of ‘i dont want to be looked at as a comeup” which is understandable- but you have to understand you ARE going to be looked at for what you have. like dig said, being rich isnt a requirement- but having nothing and being cool with it is NOT whats hot in the streets.
IF i ever got to the point of marriage (that is hella questionable) you better beilive, i want to see/know/respect that you have your shit together, a 401k, stocks, a solid fico- etc… jsut as i would expect that the other would want to look at the same info from me- and i would be happy to furnsh it,… not that stuff like that is a requirement- but all of us are closing on 30, its not a fresh outta college thing anymore.. our age group is starting to look at retirement in 10-20 years. if i’m marrying you, you (hopefully) gonna be around for all that and we need to be on the same page. i may be cool (or at least not ready to jump off a bridge lol) with struggling now- but thats so it can get greater later and i’m laying foundation to be good for retirement. i want a life partner with the same goals in mind.
ok, long story short- a marriage that doesnt consider the financial aspect is setting up for some serious problems down the road. people dont gotta be rich, but a solid head on thier shoulders and being responsible in matters of the like (finances, religion, emotional health, communication) is going to make or break your relationship. money does, and always will figure into that. making it the end all be all of a decsion, i cant agree with- but its important, dont mistake it.
February 21, 2008 @ 3:05 pm
Gas money to buy weed might be a deal breaker.
First of all…
If a nigga smokes weed and ain’t working or lives with his momma….
February 21, 2008 @ 3:12 pm
@Persia…
Are these the same requirements for JAZ…lol
But seriously I see where you are coming from but you got broads out here who don’t have shit and want their potential mate to have it all and that what I have issue with. Sure my 401K is official but what about yours ? You got half ass women out here wanting full dick niggas and that shit don’t rock. If a woman has her own shit, that will make her attractive to a nigga with something to offer and the same goes for the fellas. You can’t be a couch sitting ass nigga and expect a broad with an impressive portfolio to come save you…. unless your penis is 11 inches long than you can pretty much make the whole world go round…lol.
February 21, 2008 @ 3:13 pm
‘he aint gotta be taking my gas money to go buy his weed.’
And I thought you really loved me?
Cold hearted snake.
February 21, 2008 @ 3:14 pm
Uh…yeah…sure
.
No, it really is, but I’m not going to pretend that didn’t have a significant factor in my decision to say “Yes.”
——-
And thats cool… thats really what its all about. but I know its more about your husband than what he brings home… right?
February 21, 2008 @ 3:14 pm
Persia
I can agree with that… No one wants to go into something as huge marriage blindly and I understand making sure that the person your with has a plan for the future an is working at it….Thats cool.
What I didnt like was these old ass women telling me that I was SUPPOSED to bring home most of the loot and they sit back and chill knowing that they got with me for the money and not me…then to have them go off and fk another dude on the side cause thats what they really wanted… Thats how chicks get Bar-B-Qued.
February 21, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
Ihadno: Especially if you gotta drive MY car to get the shit
Persia- There it is.
Im outta here, folks, but yeah, on some level, I think we all sayin the same thing, just stating it differently and gettin it confused. Kiss and make up while Im gone, but dont bring no babies up in here!
February 21, 2008 @ 3:17 pm
‘Especially if you gotta drive MY car to get the shit’
Now you’re being cruel.
February 21, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
but dont bring no babies up in here!
Oh I got a story about that shit too… I love yall females I really do.. but Got Damn…
February 21, 2008 @ 3:23 pm
Kiss and make up while Im gone, but dont bring no babies up in here
————-
Do you mean full grown babies or …..
never mind…
February 21, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
cjp- we on the same page… liek i said in the beginning… money or no money- if oyu cant dick it down- houston, we have a problem. i cant be with you for JUST that… and that goes for alot of things… the package deal is key- you got bread AND good dick AND you dont beat my ass AND we can have a decent conversation over dinner? awww shit! i’m like flin! shoot, i’ll even track down my crackhead daddy to pay for the wedding (in installments, of course) if you want me too lol
February 21, 2008 @ 3:41 pm
i’ll even track down my crackhead daddy to pay for the wedding (in installments, of course) if you want me too lol
February 21, 2008 @ 3:43 pm
Persia
Plus your part white…so you cant be half bad.
February 21, 2008 @ 4:09 pm
LMAO @ cjp.. no becky’s in my family, but i have a louise, a bernice, a laura and a former raging alcholoic frat boy- that count?
February 21, 2008 @ 4:14 pm
I guess that it’ll do… Now lets not front. You have to be able to reach down and grab your ankles without bending your knees for a very long time… An while wearing a gag ball.
February 21, 2008 @ 4:26 pm
cjp- i plead the fif!
February 21, 2008 @ 4:34 pm
Awww shit…Well I wont even bring up the pool of KY with the diving board made of rubber bands… An the celing fan with the mirror beside it.
February 21, 2008 @ 4:52 pm
cjp- you are corrupting my pure and virginal mind!
February 21, 2008 @ 5:14 pm
Any lady that carries Cherry Flavored Good Head in their purse doesnt have a pure and viginal mind… Know that
February 21, 2008 @ 6:21 pm
ha! i hate cherry, so i am pure and virginal!