Greetings from the overworked new guy…LOL.
A while back in my “hella random” thoughts, I expressed the angst I experience EVERYTIME I head to the local supermarket. No matter if I go to Shop Rite, Acme, Lucky’s Winn Dixie, Publix or the Piggly Wiggly, a nigga moment will ensue and remind me that when I am secure financially, I never wanna see the inside of a friendly neighborhood supermarket, again.
Enter the Pathmark @ Cedarbrook Plaza. Sure, I could go two minutes away to the Shop Rite, but chances are there’ll be nothing I was looking for, and some negroes still stuck in 1985 will have trouble with the self scan registers. Besides, moms was in town, and Pathmark has the better seafood and produce. It’s my momma after all, she comes to visit like once a…hardly ever.
But something was wrong. Apparently, we entered a bizarro world supermarket, full of kids, strollers, and a bottleneck at the fried chicken counter. As I looked for certain items, I noticed how full the carts were. It’s a fuckin Thursday…no Eagles game, holiday approaching, or snow storm on the way.
Then it hit me…
“…what’s today’s date?”
Like that Moms, who has that “stating the obvious shit” down to an exact science says, “well you know it IS the first…”
DAMN!
With that said, I hauled ass to the check out. If it wasn’t in the cart, it was no longer up for consideration. I got behind chick who had a cart full. “Fuck it”, I thought, I would be next, and the other lines were way longer.
Remember the scene in “300″ when the Spartans defeated the first wave of Persians, only to look over the hill and really SEE the Persians marching…and they shot all them ARROWS? Well, her groceries “blocked out the sun,” and she was pushing THE SECOND CART; the first cart was being unloaded on the belt by her mama, and the belt was hidden under a mound of milk, TV dinners, eggs, rice, pampers, chips, meat and three isles worth of shit I can’t name.
Were these bitches on Supermarket Sweep and I didn’t know?
Ahhh…the isle next to me is one person longer, so I maneuvered over there before people noticed it was a quicker line. As the “Persians” used the entire supply of bags the market has, I noticed the woman in front of me now only had a few items, just multiples…not bad right?
Yeah, if she didn’t break out a fuckin STACK OF WIC CHECKS FOR EVERY ITEM SHE HAD.
Really Grandma, all them grits? Are Harpo and Sophia coming home? And about 20 (I’m not lying) TV dinners featuring the McRib pork entrée. Really Grandma? That’s why them two fat ass kids with you can’t even stand up…that chunky ass girl is gonna have a triple bypass by her senior prom. Bet me.
And come on, Grandma, why you hidin the fact you signin them shits? Nobody randomly buys that much grits and cartons of milk on the 1st…we not gonna cheat off your answers, yo…get them fat ass kids to the front of check out to bag all this shit.
Oh wait, they can’t because they are told to buy the birthday cake separately with an access card we know ain’t their’s. You fucks probably celebrate the first everytime…turn on that Bone Thugs and Crank That Welfare!
Supercharge that card
Supercharge that card
Supercharge that…
Supercharge that…
Supercharge that card!
And as I finally get to my turn in line I look over and the Persian’s first cart was finally bagged. The line behind them had reached about 15 people all with the same disgusted looks on their faces. The older of the Persians says out loud utilizing her stamps, and Access card, “I ain’t never spent that much on groceries”….
No bitch, WE never spent that much on groceries before. Your welcome.
And that was your nigga moment of zen. We needed the split screen like “24″ does at the end of the episode, because the two chicks signing WIC checks, me and Moms’ faces, along with the angry ass working class shoppers behind them are Priceless.
A nigga shoulda ordered take-out. That’s what I get.
Posts
November 16, 2007 @ 9:26 am
You are crazy, but this is so true. They do be having two and three carts full of stuff and mine is bareky half way full.
I will say that when I was in grad school I did have the “link card”. That’s Chicago’s version of food stamps on a card. And I havent been grocery shopping for real since them joints ran out. But now that I’m working and when I am in the store to get one or two items and I see Bonquisha with 6 kids who all look like they aint got the same baby daddy, I do get a lil irritated. Here I am working nearly 10 hrs a day and I can barely afford the item in my hand, and Bonquisha with all her kids eating real good. She got the big shrimps in the basket, the big king crap legs, t-bone steaks. I got a damn tv dinner in my hand. Then I gotta get the look from her like “this broad think she better than me” I just shake my head.
The system aint right. They keep those people right where they want them. Fat, uneducated, and happy.
November 16, 2007 @ 10:05 am
This nigga said ‘Supercharge that card’…
THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY!!!
**woot**
November 16, 2007 @ 10:10 am
where da hell is everybody is Friday dammit..I’m ready kick it today…
November 16, 2007 @ 10:13 am
Whut up trissa!
November 16, 2007 @ 10:17 am
What’s cracking…
Man its been a rough week..I had to go to HR on my boss THREE times this week. I’m about to file a law suit….
November 16, 2007 @ 10:20 am
Aw shit…
did he try to squeeze the charmin?
November 16, 2007 @ 10:24 am
I say they should deduct benefits as you have more children or gain more weight.
Being fat and broke is an oxymoron.
Lemme see a fat broke person go to Africa and talk about “they are hungry”…
They’ll stick a pole down his throat and roast his fat ass like a thanksgiving turkey.
November 16, 2007 @ 10:37 am
‘I say they should deduct benefits as you have more children or gain more weight.’
I would agree with the children part.
November 16, 2007 @ 10:42 am
Willy:
He’s made some inapporiate remarks to me and he kicks picking on me.
He says on the negative one his team just becasue I dont chuck and jive the way he wants. He says that I’m the reason the team has bad morale. He says that no one wants to be around me (yet everybody comes to my desk and kicks it) He has told me to my face that I need to find another job AND this nigga pulled an Ausitn Powers and said “Do I make you horny baby”. He told HR he said that because I had horns on my head (it was halloween) devils aint got nothing to do with making somebody horny.
It’s been hell this week. I told HR on Monday that this dude makes me uncomfortable. Do you know instead of moving me IMMEDIATELY, my boss tells that he is taking me away from everybody else and sittin me in a cube in front of his office, to keep me away from everybody.
How? In the hell. Can I. Perusuade 23 other people to dislike you? Am I MalcolmX? Am I Marcus Garvey?
Finally yesterday they told me they were moving me to another team. The bastard didnt even say goodbye or nothing. And I was one of the top advisors on the team….
Go figure…
November 16, 2007 @ 10:50 am
That’s messed up…
November 16, 2007 @ 10:55 am
I say you tape record the nigga then blackmail him into giving you head with no returns.
Then videotape him and then threaten to show it to his wife in exchange for a ransom.
Women have to use all their resources because guys use all of theirs… believe me.
November 16, 2007 @ 10:56 am
Anucha got 11 million just for being called a bitch.
November 16, 2007 @ 11:13 am
Yeah he’s a prick..the bad thing about is that his boss fanned off the “horny” incident, by saying that he’s said worse things to his advisors when he was on the floor. I’m like so both of ya’ll is some pigs…
On another note, this job is getting ridculous..They are making you take off all non-work related files off the computer. No music, no personal screen savers, nothing. It’s bad enough they have taken away all personal email usage. I NEED to find me another gig…fast…
I UPS hiring…
November 16, 2007 @ 11:24 am
‘I UPS hiring…’
Always.
I’m with ihnc, get ya ‘bionic woman’ on and tape his ass.
November 16, 2007 @ 11:51 am
What up niggas….:frown:
November 16, 2007 @ 11:54 am
Whut up boo boo.
How’s your morning?
November 16, 2007 @ 12:01 pm
Not the greatest, but its been worse so Im not gon complain or the ‘count your blessings’ gods might send a lightning bolt up my ass.
November 16, 2007 @ 12:02 pm
‘the ‘count your blessings’ gods might send a lightning bolt up my ass.’
ZZZZZZT!
November 16, 2007 @ 12:06 pm
I live in a socialst country, EVERYBODY’s on welfare lmao. And we’re all taxed up the ass for it, so there’s no use in complaining. Sales tax is 14% and they’re talking about raising the GST, even though they just lowered it to 6%…sigh. You just deal- no sense in worrying that the next person is eating steak and shrimp. And decreasing the benefits as the children increase only hurts the children in the long run.
Your boss sounds like an asshole, Trissa. Best you get to polishing the resume, because it sounds like he’s trying to set you up as a “problem employee” to cover his ass.
November 16, 2007 @ 12:10 pm
I’m just happy top be here in the flesh instead of spirit….
November 16, 2007 @ 12:18 pm
@Jaeda…
Socialism is the greatest form of government. Its the only economic structure, in my opinion that treats everybody equal. That 14 percent tax ain’t shit. I get taxed 25 percent of my gross ( that is of course before I claim Connecticut residency to avoid the NY state tax and NYC tax) in addition to my healthcare benefits going up 126% last year. I went from paying 9 dollars a week to $22 dollars a week. One of my co workers who has 3 kids pays almost $85 a week for his health insurance and that don’t even include the rape from the IRS.
And then they have the nerve to tax me again at 8.25 percent when I buy something.
November 16, 2007 @ 12:19 pm
All those fucking taxes you take from me and I still can’t get high in public ????
Blow me cocksucker
November 16, 2007 @ 12:28 pm
Ihadno: The SALES tax is 14%. That shit is a lot.
November 16, 2007 @ 12:34 pm
lmao- you should have seen all the people high in nathan phillips square for 4/20.
my point about sales tax, is very often people complain that their “taxes” are going to fund the welfare recipients, however, generally they pay a higher percentage of their income in sales tax than say, someone with less disposable income. So they are, in effect, helping pay for their own welfare. I know that’s not much of a comfort, but i can honestly say that the amount of money they are able to purchase with the stipend given is not much.
Did you see that experiment that the congressmen and women did where they had to live on the food allowance that welfare provides? They kept a blog on their experiences, and the kind of food they bought. I’ll have to look it up.
November 16, 2007 @ 12:38 pm
damn it man! sounds like every trip i ever took to super walmart. lol
triss.. slash his tires. it will make you feel better.
in UPSIDE news- jury duty is OVA!!
November 16, 2007 @ 12:38 pm
@Dig…
Damn !!!!
I’ve been up there a couple of times but I expense evertything while I stayed so I never noticed it.
Honestly… I don’t mind being taxed as long as I know that my tax dollars are working for me and others. But we pay crazy taxes also and don’t even have the benefit of good school and healthcare like Canada. I look at my cell phone bill sometimes in amazement at all the taxes included. Taxes make up 43 percent of my fucking cellphone bill. And then they get a retarded tax on alcohol and cigarettes. I just don’t understand where all the money goes. At least Canadians can actually see their tax dollars work for them.
I can care less any fucking way because I cheat on my taxes anyway. They gonn have to come and get that money from me… fuck that. I ain’t just giving it to them. My Aunt in Haiti just had a another baby to add to me or my brothers dependant list….lol.
My brother is still claiming an uncle of mine that died in 1993. But he died in Haiti so the US government thinks he’s still alive. The IRS still send paperwork for him to my mothers address…lol.
November 16, 2007 @ 12:39 pm
‘All those fucking taxes you take from me and I still can’t get high in public ????’
Nigga…
Speak on it!
I am of the opinion that all utilities should be government controlled.
gas
electric
phone
cable
what am I leaving out?
Basically all ‘infrastructure’ related industries should be non-profit.
November 16, 2007 @ 12:41 pm
‘jury duty is OVA’
Did you send anybody to jail?
November 16, 2007 @ 12:43 pm
Robin Roberts is the SHIT…
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=3869407
November 16, 2007 @ 12:44 pm
Did you send anybody to jail?
=====================
yes… but only a 5-7.. which was good, if we had voted guilty on all counts, he would have gotten 25-life because of his priors
November 16, 2007 @ 12:46 pm
‘he would have gotten 25-life because of his priors’
Wooo…
November 16, 2007 @ 12:53 pm
I tottally agree Willy.
They say they are laws against monopolies but I only have one option for energy and heat. If their rates are too high, I’m fucked. Before all this internet phone, we had no choice but our Bell Souths and Verizons. When you analyze the structure of this country, it almost forces you to go underground and find ways to fuck them back and that is my mission in likfe. You fuck me… imma fuck you 2 times harder.
That is until they catch me and I fold like a fat bitch on a lawn chair…lol.
November 16, 2007 @ 12:53 pm
then white folks were trying to send him up the river over NOTHING! seriously… the DA gotta PROVE this- you cant convict on “well it sounds like he did it”.. i felt like dave chappell in the there will all the “well what if” and “I HAVE REASONABLE DOUBT” senarios we went thru lol
i ended up sitting back with my arms folded on some i aint changing my mind shit… everyone wanted to go home, so they relented and said not guilty on the stuid shit as long as i gave them the assault… cool with me.. come to find out later- that shit saved his crackhead ass lol
November 16, 2007 @ 12:53 pm
They are about to raise taxes here in the Chi. We pay city and state taxes which is like 9%…now they talking raising them to like 12-13% GFTFOH….
They think they slick cause they only raising them to help pay for the things we need to get the 2016 Olympics here. Sometimes I get frustrated and want to go home where it’s much cheaper to live…then I snap back into reality and look at the sun rising to the east in my new apartment.
November 16, 2007 @ 12:54 pm
‘That is until they catch me and I fold like a fat bitch on a lawn chair…lol.’
November 16, 2007 @ 12:55 pm
‘All those fucking taxes you take from me and I still can’t get high in public ????’
————————————————————–
Chucch!!!!!!
November 16, 2007 @ 12:59 pm
And with all this bullshit can yopu believe that..
Gas went up 20 percent since last year…
Electricity went up 17 percent and Water and Sewage went up 30 pecent !!!!
You got people with homes that owe over 10K for a fucking water bill….
I would love to buy a house. Its bad enough that the market out here is rediculous but when you add the rising costs of gas,elec, and water …. it really doesn’t benefit me in anyway.
So Imma just keep on fuckin them until I come up….
November 16, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
Chicago has spent over 110 million dollars in tax payers money in the last 10 years on paying people because of police brutality. $110 million that could have gone to the messed up school system that’s here. It could have gone to the rebuild the projects instead of tearing them down. It could have went to the CTA which constantly complains they dont have proper funding.
This goes to show what’s important here. Beating the hell out of some black “gangbanger” is more important than educating him.
On that note I’m going to luch!!!
This goes to show
November 16, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
The cost of living out here is just damn rediculous but I would be miserable somewhere else even though I prolly would have more money in my pocket but I can’t die with it so i might as well pay for my happiness….lol
November 16, 2007 @ 1:03 pm
‘come to find out later- that shit saved his crackhead ass lol’
You have saved one (1) drug addict.
Only 9 more to go for that free toaster over.
November 16, 2007 @ 1:04 pm
110 million ???
Word ???
I need to move to Chi town and get beat the fuck up…
I’m wasting my time out here….
November 16, 2007 @ 1:04 pm
hey willy-
LMAO
November 16, 2007 @ 1:06 pm
You have saved one (1) drug addict.
Only 9 more to go for that free toaster over.
———–
Lmao……
Don’t lose your receipt….
November 16, 2007 @ 1:11 pm
November 16, 2007 @ 2:13 pm
Guess what?
Why when I was coming back from lunch my boss tried to get on the elevator. I saw that ass coming and I pressed the close button. That joint closed right in face. Everybody on the elevator bust out laughing.
That felt so good to do.
November 16, 2007 @ 2:47 pm
sup black people
November 16, 2007 @ 2:58 pm
comment by trissa :
November 16, 2007 @ 1:02 pm |edit
Chicago has spent over 110 million dollars in tax payers money in the last 10 years on paying people because of police brutality.
——-
Wow their Attorney’s really suck!
In Boston, if you get your ass whooped by a police officer. He gets a medal of honor and a promotion. You on the other hand get community service and a medical bill cuz he hurt his pinky punching you in the kidneys!
Im exaggerrating but not by much
I’ve gotten my ass whooped whole sale by a cop.
If you ever hear em say come over here and let me talk to you, don’t do it. Cuz their not gonna artest you.
November 16, 2007 @ 3:05 pm
‘I saw that ass coming and I pressed the close button. That joint closed right in face.’
**Martin voice**
You Go Giiirrrrrrl!
I bet that nigga was SALTY too.
November 16, 2007 @ 3:42 pm
completely unrelated… but prayer is your friend. i just had to come in here and say that becasue today has been a day of blessings for me.
God is good!
November 16, 2007 @ 4:12 pm
@JAZ
Sounds like someone got some on their lunch break
I kid I keed
glad you have a good day lil lady
November 16, 2007 @ 4:17 pm
LMAO- while i did recieve this blessing on my lunch.. it wasnt ‘that’ blessing… i estimate before sunday tho- i’m back elligble for that as well!!
November 16, 2007 @ 4:41 pm
Now, I got mad love for my friends…
LORD KNOWS I DO…
but god damnit, I am not your personal computer technician.
I’ma have to start cuttin muthafuckaz off.
November 19, 2007 @ 11:36 am
“Well, her groceries “blocked out the sun,” and she was pushing THE SECOND CART; the first cart was being unloaded on the belt by her mama, and the belt was hidden under a mound of milk, TV dinners, eggs, rice, pampers, chips, meat and three isles worth of shit I can’t name.”
You should’ve been a comedian fam.