I know I come on here and talk all types of shit about my daily escapades.. some of more flattering than others but sometimes the plots are so profound, you almost can’t make it up. I am not a don juan nigga by any stretch of the imagination but I am a socializer. I don’t even like to smoke by myself. So last night I finally got a minute to hang out with this chick that I met about 3 months ago. I didn’t even remember what she looked like as she constantly refused to text me a pic of her. We text each other all everynow and then and come to find out that she is funny as hell. So I said, why not ?
I pulls up to her place at about 730 and POW !!!!
Now I shoulda known that the kid has great taste so if her number is in my phone then she must be official but if I woulda known she was this hot, we coulda did this weeks ago. Right down the pipe she’s my prototype. Think Kerri Washington with a touch of Nia Long and a dab of Sanaa. You know, that honey brown complexion, sexy lips and shoulder length hair with a hint of Auburn highlights about 5′4” with clear toenail polish ( clear toenail polish gets me hard… don’t ask). So I “bleep bleep” the truck and she sees its an Esco and says.. “typical nigga”…lol. She then says ” I bet you got 50 and Kanye up in there… typical ass nigga”….lol
By now I am laughing my ass off because its usually me that berates a bitch early just to make her feel comfy. Now 10 minutes into our ride, I decide that I don’t wanna do the movies. I tell her that her personality is just to good for a movie and that I would trather spend 2 hours listening to her yap about nonsense rather than sit in a dark theatre unless I can put my hand up her skirt”.
So we go to this spot for drinks and we just kicked it passing time. I don’t think I’ve ever been “outclowned” on a date but this broad was teaching me the Superman in the bar…lol. Why did 4 othwe people get up and start taking lessons from this broad…lol.
We starts talking about the MTV Awards and she says she hasn’t seen it ….. damn I am so glad that I didn’t erase that shit from TIVO. So I tell her I got it Tivo’d and I roll a biggie and we proceed to the next venue. Now while I am driving, I feel like the bitch on the date because she is just cracking jokes left and right, making me tear on the Jackie Robinson PKWY. long story short… we watched the video award where we both fell asleep onthe couch. I wakes up at like 1am to take her home and she says if I am tired, its all good. I can take her home in the morning if I want since her place is on the way to my job. So the animal in me is saying I should just rip off her clothes and jump her bones but the gentleman in me ( yes nigga… the “gentleman”…lol) says that I should sleep on the couch and give her the bed. I gave her a pair of my basketball shorts and a t shirt and went to sleep cuddled up next to her like a newborn on her mothers bosom…lol. I know I sound soft right now but this is the type of shit yall women can do to a nigga and I didn’t even get a whiff of the poontang. I wasn’t gonna post this but she sent me a long text telling me how much she appreciated me being a gentleman and how much of a turn on it was to be with a dude that respected her and didn’t try to take advantage of the fact she went to my place …. 
And I did this amid a 10 day pussy slump.
I told her that it will be the last time she comes into my house with all her clothes on and she ageed…… 
Now I can get this chicks crotch outta my mind. I am leaving early to get high .
September 12, 2007 @ 11:43 am
congrats
September 12, 2007 @ 11:52 am
Congrats ???
Man you know hard hard imma have to work to shed that gentleman tag …lol.
September 12, 2007 @ 11:55 am
yeah, congrats.. what else you want me to tell you- you’ve come of age to act like a man? you cant go thru life whoring (all the time anyway), its stupid.. so you found someone that made you realize that (at least for a little while) acting like a grownup is *gasp* acceptable. i didnt think all thatwas needed..soo… congrats.
September 12, 2007 @ 12:00 pm
Who are you and how do you know that I am a whore…. allegedly….
You sound like my intervention counselor. Don’t you dare invite me to one of your church functions either…
God…. is that you again ????
September 12, 2007 @ 12:10 pm
church- nah, you dont have to worry about that invitation, shit, i dont even go to church like i should. ok, ok.. i really just dont go to church period. you’re safe
September 12, 2007 @ 12:12 pm
Good Look.
Now, whatchagonnadoooooo?
September 12, 2007 @ 12:23 pm
Wow that’s great. I miss the hell out of those kinds of dates. And you cuddling with her got some major points. Did you spoon???
September 12, 2007 @ 12:27 pm
I have ADD when it comes to women though so I don’t go nuts over a first impression. But she has a sense of humor just as sick as mine and that could be the kicker right there. But I am still dealing with Canadian Poco and my ex is kinda sorta in the fold so this might turn into a 3 horse race…lol.
September 12, 2007 @ 12:28 pm
Spoon ???
Excuse my slight retardedness when it comes to that word . What is that ?
September 12, 2007 @ 12:31 pm
Putting your hard dick in her back.
September 12, 2007 @ 12:31 pm
@happy Dee…
Chill on the cuddling son ….
September 12, 2007 @ 12:36 pm
*Clappin Hands
Thats whats up right there… thats a nice night. That deserves a toast homie.
September 12, 2007 @ 12:37 pm
What kinda bullshit lie would I have to come up wit to get at Rihanna???
Maybe, VP of Information Systems?
I need some business cards.
September 12, 2007 @ 12:40 pm
@Willy…
lol… nah… none of that. I was actually very tired. I woulda played myself even if I tried to hit it. I was up since 430 am yesterday by the time we finished that last “biggie”… I was a wrap.
September 12, 2007 @ 12:42 pm
Not hit it, just put it in her back.
Like POW!
September 12, 2007 @ 12:46 pm
Man I’ll say this some of the best time I have had with women was when sex was not on the table… Just being with a chick an conversating sometimes is good…
September 12, 2007 @ 12:47 pm
What kinda bullshit lie would I have to come up wit to get at Rihanna???
This nigga….
September 12, 2007 @ 12:49 pm
cjp Says:
September 12th, 2007 at 12:36 pm e
*Clappin Hands
Thats whats up right there… thats a nice night. That deserves a toast homie.
——————
Yall niggas are setting me up for my downfall…
It was good night but I am so damn “single-minded” that I wish she was a airhead ghetto bitch that gave up the panties on the first night.
September 12, 2007 @ 12:52 pm
It was good night but I am so damn “single-minded” that I wish she was a airhead ghetto bitch that gave up the panties on the first night.
——————————
Nigga stop that… Part of wishes she were an airhead but more of you is glad that she’s not…. besides she might have just been feeling you out to see if you’re cool enough to handle the pussy extravaganza she bout to put on you
September 12, 2007 @ 12:52 pm
@CJP….
I don’t think she was gonna sleep with me even if I tried. I just got that ” I just wanna hang out with you and see what you are about” type of feel. I actually like her personality enough that I didn’t want to ruin it by having sex with her so early because that would have just moved her into the “fuck slut cum dumpster” bracket and she was just to damn impressive for that.
And my car still smells like her….
I am such a sucker for love ass nigga…
September 12, 2007 @ 12:56 pm
“But I am still dealing with Canadian Poco and my ex is kinda sorta in the fold so this might turn into a 3 horse race…lol.”
ok so i see nicknames and an ex…I’m new and instead of having you go thru all the background, are their past blogs about the other 2 competitors?
“Putting your hard dick in her back”
Actually I’m gonna beg to differ about the previously defined definition of spooning, I would define it as putting ur ____ a little lower, like almost in the crack but not quite.
September 12, 2007 @ 12:58 pm
Nigga stop that… Part of wishes she were an airhead but more of you is glad that she’s not…. besides she might have just been feeling you out to see if you’re cool enough to handle the pussy extravaganza she bout to put on you
————–
Yeah but I carry that mentality to keep me balanced. I can go through a week and meet a more than a few women. Breaking them down with that mentality cuts off the fat. But eventually one of these broads is gonna wrap a nigga up and leave him sucking his thumb in the corner in the fetal position….
I am just taking numbers right now…
September 12, 2007 @ 12:58 pm
‘like almost in the crack but not quite.’
I wasn’t gonna go there…
but you NASTY so aiight.
September 12, 2007 @ 1:03 pm
dont get carried away. I’m going to a meeting anf wont be able to comment for like 1hr
September 12, 2007 @ 1:05 pm
Us, get carried away…
Is that even possible?
September 12, 2007 @ 1:06 pm
@Happy Dee
Poco is short for Pocohantas…lol.
Last December, I went to Toronto for about a month to work at the Toronto site of the company I work for and Poco was an office manager up there and she basically put it on me. We fly back and forth err now and then to see each other and she invited in June me to her timeshare in Jamaica and I met her out there.
I don’t think I’ve ever gotten deep on here about my ex- maybe one day I’ll come in high and break it down but she is basically the sun that I one day will revolve around But she wants marriage and kids like pronto and i can’t handle alladat now. I got a couple of goals I have to hit before I can be in a relationship that deep and I am not ready for all that comes with it.
September 12, 2007 @ 1:07 pm
I still remember the blue light…
and that is a title to a Prince song, don’t cha know.
September 12, 2007 @ 1:07 pm
And my car still smells like her….
Isnt that one of the best smells…LOL
September 12, 2007 @ 1:08 pm
Willy
Speaking of Prince…I still didnt get that International Lover from you…
September 12, 2007 @ 1:16 pm
Ihadno:
You are so super official! Don Jaun ass nigga…lol Hilarious!
Willyj:
I know hell you ain’t passing out Prince shit without me on the mailing list nigga! Gon make me come through word press on yo ass!
September 12, 2007 @ 1:19 pm
KSH
could you get your ass in line… you cant just come up and jump in front of folks… See if you were white none of this would be going on…
September 12, 2007 @ 1:19 pm
@cjp
MY BAD!!!
I forgot all about dat…
I’ma up that tonight.
@KSH
jeez.
I got you.
September 12, 2007 @ 1:20 pm
‘See if you were white none of this would be going on…’
September 12, 2007 @ 1:24 pm
cjp:
Ima fuck you uop when I see you! LOL Just like a nigga been gone for weeks and jump the line. I can’t help it; it’s in my womanly nature
willyj:
Good looking out maestro!
September 12, 2007 @ 1:29 pm
I can’t help it; it’s in my womanly nature
No its not… white women dont do that
September 12, 2007 @ 1:33 pm
@Willy…
The blue light is what did it. Talk about coming prepared…lol.
@KSH …
I still can’t figure yall out. Yall clap when a nigga pounds you out but yall also applaud when he get on some Al B Sure sure type shit (had to shout the lightskinnededded).lo.
September 12, 2007 @ 1:35 pm
I stop trying to figure them out…
September 12, 2007 @ 1:36 pm
cjp Says:
September 12th, 2007 at 1:07 pm e
And my car still smells like her….
Isnt that one of the best smells…LOL
—————
And its not perfume or stripper lotion… her crib smells like it…. knida like baby powder and Prell..lol… You know a nigga is vulnerable to the fetal position when he remembers what her house smells like after being in there for 3 minutes and some seconds….lol
September 12, 2007 @ 1:38 pm
knida like baby powder and Prell..lol
Ahhhh….yeah thats it. And yeah dawg you might as well get ready to ball up…
September 12, 2007 @ 1:38 pm
KSH does be(does be ??? fuck it…lol) flying up in here like she owns the place.
Drive bying and shit….
September 12, 2007 @ 1:41 pm
awwwwwwwwwwww- that was so SWEET!! That’s a good look; definitely a lot better than that dude who keeps hinting and trying to test you.
And you SPOONED?!?!? Without trying to tease and do sneaky shit?!??!
Hell, if you maintained the status quo and didn’t fuck it up by saying anything stupid, I’d probably fuck you the next time just cause. :mrgreen:
September 12, 2007 @ 1:44 pm
@KSH …
I still can’t figure yall out. Yall clap when a nigga pounds you out but yall also applaud when he get on some Al B Sure sure type shit (had to shout the lightskinnededded)
———————————————
That’s because if you find a nigga that can do both, you need to keep his ass lol. We are complex, dammit!
September 12, 2007 @ 1:48 pm
We are complex, dammit!
——————————
Nope its not that you guys are complex you just make shit that way… When it doesnt need to be
September 12, 2007 @ 1:49 pm
@Jaeda ……
I didn’t spoon …lol.
Honestly… I don’t wanna take a lot of credit for this… I really was just tired. If I would have had a couple of redbullHenny’s, I woulda been on her ass like white on rice. But I think her plans were to see how far I would go. I didn’t even feel on her that much. She just put her head on my chest and fell asleep… left a spit stain on my Spongebob shirt (don’t you dare say shit about my spongebob shirt..lol) and everything.
Little does she know that my sheets are gonna be stained with her next time she… see… there goes the animal in me…
Down boy.. down…
September 12, 2007 @ 2:01 pm
smh = dig?
Props to the kid ihadno…that’s what’s good. Similar thing happened to me before, shorty came back to the crib, and I was too tired to even try anything.
We got back at like 4:30, talked till maybe about 5…and I had to be up to go to work at 6:30, so I ended blacking out on her. But during our chit chat session I was all gentleman, we were lying down and I didn’t even touch her. If you saw this broad, you’d want to slap the shit out of me for that one.
Anyway, a couple of weeks later she’s telling me how she feels me & all (and how could you not haha)…so I ask her, if I woulda whipped Chuck Willy out on her that first time, would she had been with it.
Yup.
The lesson here? Fuck if I know…but I’m beating that broad down this weekend ahahahhahahahha.
(Rubs hands together and laughs like Gargamel.)
September 12, 2007 @ 2:01 pm
But Imma rock niggas when I go to the club and do that soulja boy….
September 12, 2007 @ 2:02 pm
‘But Imma rock niggas when I go to the club and do that soulja boy….’
September 12, 2007 @ 2:03 pm
I’m still tryin to get my Chris Brown moves down.
September 12, 2007 @ 2:03 pm
cjp:
That is what is wrong with white women they don’t have the metabolic stamina to process bitch mode, fuck you up mode and love you long time mode in the necessary amount of seconds to keep a nigga on his toes…
ihadno:
KAPOW! BANG! BOOM!
You know how I do…kick the door down and take no prisoners!
September 12, 2007 @ 2:03 pm
“Spoon”..never heard that one. Something like that is reflex to me though.
I can’t NOT be that close to a broad and not spoon. Shit is like a high school experiment or something.
“Kids, place this mold of a phat ass next to Cic…now watch the spooning take place.”
Am I the only one?
September 12, 2007 @ 2:06 pm
Ahh man my daugter got me all up doing that bullshit! The Superman, dat Batman, dat Spiderman - how da hell chirrens come up with this shit! Now they have one called Crank Dat Ole Man…now that is just fucked up on so many levels but its fun as hell!
September 12, 2007 @ 2:08 pm
willyj:
If you get Chris Brown moves Ima need you to invade planet earth - that lil nigga is something serious!
September 12, 2007 @ 2:08 pm
BATMAN??
Whuts this?
I don’t think I’ve given licensing rights?
September 12, 2007 @ 2:11 pm
I’m still tryin to get my Chris Brown moves down.
Alright… you gon fuck around and break your Femur doing that shit..
KSH:
Keeping a dude on his toes is one thing but being plane ole nuts for nothing is another… but I love my sistas…with they wrong asses
September 12, 2007 @ 2:12 pm
@Cic
I guess that would be a good plan… to just let em come over and do nothing but when you in the crib with a sexy lil sumthin and you liqoured up and high… crotch is the only thing on your mind… it takes a great bit of will power to be a gentleman at that point. Especially when 90 percent of the chicks that are at your crib past midnight end up leaving on crutches…lol.
It gets hard to figure out when to push play or pause.
But just figuring out women is damn interesting. Its probably the best part of being single, meeting and greeting a different personality and situation all the time. I’ve been single for a lil over a year now and I’ve was in relationships for 6 years before that so this is like a new thing for me…
September 12, 2007 @ 2:12 pm
I don’t think I’ve given licensing rights?
Now you know how I feel about this Superman shit… First Krypton explodes now this shit.
September 12, 2007 @ 2:13 pm
‘Alright… you gon fuck around and break your Femur doing that shit..’
‘First Krypton explodes now this shit.’
LMAO!
September 12, 2007 @ 2:16 pm
This nigga 50 is a damn genius.
I’ve been hearing this nigga talk all day and he knows his shit. Comparing niggas to this and that, explaining why this went down and that…
very smart dude.
September 12, 2007 @ 2:17 pm
cjp:
Yall love a crazy bitch so don’t even try it! Yall love a girl that acts more stupidly for no reason and then in 10 secs she cooking scambled egga and turkey sausage bukkeedd neekkkeedd!
September 12, 2007 @ 2:20 pm
Yall love a crazy bitch so don’t even try it! Yall love a girl that acts more stupidly for no reason and then in 10 secs she cooking scambled egga and turkey sausage bukkeedd neekkkeedd!
————————————————-
Oh no the hell I dont… I dont play that crazy shit. Thats how a nigga get grits threw on him messing around with them crazies fuck that… I dont need my window or my windshield broke out just for saying hello to another chick… and If a chick make me some turkey sausage I would tell her to put her damn clothes on and get her none pork cooking ass out my shit… I dont play that
September 12, 2007 @ 2:23 pm
‘and If a chick make me some turkey sausage I would tell her to put her damn clothes on and get her none pork cooking ass out my shit…’
Looks at Dig…
September 12, 2007 @ 2:25 pm
cjp:
LOL Turkey is the new white meat nigga and I know you are fond of the white meat! LOL
But don’t NO MAN want a soft cry baby ass woman. Everybody want a sweet, bitchy, freak -
September 12, 2007 @ 2:27 pm
But don’t NO MAN want a soft cry baby ass woman.
———
I hate a sensitive broad. I hate a broad that cries if i do something to her. Shut the fuck up and get even bitch…lol.
September 12, 2007 @ 2:27 pm
But don’t NO MAN want a soft cry baby ass woman.
You can be totally hard and not carry yourself in a bitchy manner. Its all about presentation… An I only eat turkey on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
September 12, 2007 @ 2:29 pm
ihando:
See that is what I mean. I can’t stand that shit. I have an aunt that is a year older than me so we grew up like sisters and I was always the mean one so I had to groom her. She would let dudes make her cry and the dropof a dime.
In my world that is a NO NO! Nigga I ain’t bust yo windows out but I ain’t gonna be crying making a soggy pillow about yo ass either!
September 12, 2007 @ 2:30 pm
But don’t NO MAN want a soft cry baby ass woman. Everybody want a sweet, bitchy, freak
——————————-
And thank god, cause otherwise I’d been assed out trying to get a date lol.
Side note- why did they just announce a “code yellow” up in this bitch, talking about a dark skinned East Indian male 5′4″ with brown pants, a black shirt…that means he done escaped…am I really supposed to figure out who the Indian dude is…in a friggin hospital filled with little Indian dudes?
September 12, 2007 @ 2:31 pm
Well I am 5% Lunatic, 20% bitch, and 75% sexninja - all rolled in to one blunt smoked and purified for the masses…lol
September 12, 2007 @ 2:32 pm
Now… Crying is not allowed. but I dont need some bitch boiling my pet rabbit in my kitchen either…
September 12, 2007 @ 2:33 pm
‘all rolled in to one blunt smoked and purified for the masses…lol’
Lunch for me!
I’ll holla.
September 12, 2007 @ 2:35 pm
cjp:
White women, white women…lol I am more inclined to max the credit card or some shit like that
September 12, 2007 @ 2:36 pm
jea:
Code yellow on the Indian dude…lol These muthafuckas and these codes and shit worse that George Bush at Spelling Bee!
September 12, 2007 @ 2:38 pm
*Note to self
Dont let KSH anywhere near my wallet or my Retirement portfolio…
September 12, 2007 @ 2:42 pm
Seriously- i’m in Scarborough…who ISN’T a Tamil-looking (short and dark) somebody up in here?
A brown pant and a black shirt? That’s practically the uniform. If you switch it out to a plaid shirt, that’s the summer wear. Now you want me to find him in a hospital FULL of Indian doctors…nice…smdh.
September 12, 2007 @ 2:45 pm
cjp:
Haha! can’t tell me nothing…lol
jae:
LMAOOOOOOOOOO
September 12, 2007 @ 2:48 pm
For real though I love my sistas…. but some of them but on that bullshit… Now every now an then you do meet that one that gets 100% on the questionaire…
September 12, 2007 @ 2:55 pm
cjp:
As long as you ain’t discriminating on the good sista it’s all good. Black men are the same way. You find a 100 percenter but then you find the 10% Nigga…so all the feelings are mutual! No harm No foul! Just know that Mocha makes is sweeter!
September 12, 2007 @ 2:59 pm
Just know that Mocha makes is sweeter!
I dont know I just had a Vanilla Frapp and that shit was good…
September 12, 2007 @ 3:09 pm
cjp:
Don’t test me boi!
September 12, 2007 @ 3:11 pm
Alright Yall….
I think some Vodka an Olive and a bottle of vermouth is callimg me…See yall in the morning.
September 12, 2007 @ 3:20 pm
cic- i’m not dig
cjp/willy- whats wrong with some turkey sausage? all that pork goona clog up your arteries!!
September 12, 2007 @ 3:22 pm
vodka? someone say vodka?
September 12, 2007 @ 3:34 pm
figures
September 12, 2007 @ 3:37 pm
smh Says:
September 12th, 2007 at 3:20 pm e
cic- i’m not dig
cjp/willy- whats wrong with some turkey sausage? all that pork goona clog up your arteries!!
—–
I’ll handle this!
A good sausage is supposed to clog you up
you seem to be focused on the wrong canal though!
September 12, 2007 @ 3:40 pm
‘you seem to be focused on the wrong canal though!’
/rim-shot
September 12, 2007 @ 3:42 pm
/rim-shot
like Double dribble
Threeeeeeee!
haha remember that sht
September 12, 2007 @ 3:47 pm
listen tj… THAT kinda sausage can clog me up anyday.. but anything that carries blood every hour of day of every month- THEM shits gotta stay clear!